Bangkok Report II: a Buddhist Christmas

Well, it is official. The metamorphosis has completed. I am back to being one of Bangkok's bowing birds. I hardly even noticed.

At lunch today, a decidedly odd Christmas lunch considering it was entirely among Buddhist family members, one of my aunts commented how great it was that I hadn't lost my Thai-ness even after so many years abroad. Just like yesterday, with the opposite comment, I was startled at first. Me, Thai, still? Then I realized my shoulders were not in the same squared position it was yesterday. I found myself oddly slouching, being entirely polite, and, yes, deferential. Damn! It came back to me so easily I hardly noticed it coming back.

Damn!

Our Christmas lunch was a (gasp) buffet at the Grand Hyatt Erawan hotel, one of the fancy hotels in Ploenjit area. I was happy to see that there was some Thai food for me to eat. I'd been planning to go on a hunger strike were there none.

I won't say much about the meal itself, as I won't recommend it. The Thai food they served were pretty good, especially the sticky rice and mango, but the bill was far too expensive for what you get. If you paid for the buffet ticket, expecting to eat only Thai food, you'd be subsidizing all the other people eating the mediocre but expensive smoked salmon, dodgy grilled lamb chops and other fancy western food items.

My older sister and I went for a little walk after the lunch. This being Bangkok, our “walk” was taken at a fancy mall, called Gaysorn Plaza. The mall is literally across the street from the hotel, but, again, this being Bangkok, my sister pronounced the day far too hot to make the 500 meters trip on foot (in her oh-so-English wool twin set, yes, it indeed was) and insisted that we took the car.

So in we went to the car, the driver took us from the lobby of the hotel, made a little u-turn to set the car to the appropriate direction toward the Gaysorn Plaza, and there we waited, in traffic, for at least 15 minutes. My sister thought I had gone stark raving mad as I couldn't stop my giggling fit in the car. I simply couldn't help it, it was absolutely ridiculous.

During the 15 or so minutes that I sat stationary at the Ploenjit intersection, I must have seen at least twenty older white males with younger Thai companions, whom they have obviously purchased. Once, I saw two utterly plain vanilla Midwest couples in their late 60's. They were accompanied by a small, dark skinned Thai girl who could not have been more than twenty. Her manners and clothing, or the lack thereof, rather, were obviously those of a rented woman. What they intended to do with her I could hardly imagine. She was but a size of one of their thighs!

Seeing these old men (and women, apparently) with their rented girls, I couldn't help but stare at them disapprovingly. Generally, my view on the issue of prostitution is one of apathy. It is simply another profession, not unlike many others. The parties involved are usually consenting adults. I have no say in their private matters of trade.

For Thailand, however, my feeling is rather different. The “industry” is so ripe with corruption and abuse, I have trouble maintaining my intellectual view of the matter. It is difficult to argue for Agency when it is evident that my society provides those girls precious few alternatives.

Comments

[Tony Finch]

Without wishing to put a downer on this terrific thread, I have to say that the sight of great big fat middle aged white guys strutting around the place with tiny Thai girls a quarter of their size and a third of their age is one of the most dispiriting sights to be encountered when travelling in Thailand.

When we went trekking in the North in the 90s the hilltribe people told us that they knew that their daughters were down South working as "hostesses", but that they were sending back money on a regular basis and that money was vital to the survival of the communities.

It's the age old profession really, but its the youth of the girls compared to their "clients" which strikes one so forcibly. I don't find it as easy to guage the age of Thai women as Western women but some of these have got to be no more than fourteen /fifteen.

I know in Britain and Germany there have been attempts to prosecute men for child sex offences while in Thailand but it must be an uphill struggle and while I have always had many criticisms of any extreme feminist anti-male agenda, the sight of these men clearly paying to sexually and otherwise enslave these girls/women is one that makes me deeply ashamed of my gender.

Posted: Dec 28 2003, 05:47 AM

[dilly / lauriel]

Hello! I've been blogging for a while (not at the url that I gave, but there are a few tidbits of my writing there), but I've only recently discovered the absolutely-mesmerizing world of food blogs. I've quite enjoyed reading yours, and just launched into your Bangkok entries with enthusiasm because I went there last winter.

You're an amazing writer, foodie, and techie (I'm semi-assuming, after seeing your bio); people like you are fun, inspiring, and awesome to be around~ :)

Actually, the reason why I commented here was about the sex trade in Bangkok... So many people around our age have such a different lifestyle, and I'm the Pollyanna-type of person who wants to bring happiness to other people. Long story short, I went to Patpong with some of my gay friends, picked up a dancer (apparently some are straight..!) after more than a day of moral self-questioning (because I couldn't justify PAYING for the company of someone else), and spent new years eve dancing with him at a club. I told him "just dancing, nothing else, really!" Paid for his club entry, drinks, etc.

I have to admit that I was being shallow because yes, I thought he was cute (and a good dancer), but at the same time, I also wanted him to just be able to hang out with people his own age, and enjoy doing something for fun... as opposed to selling himself for the night. And he seemed to sincerely enjoy himself; he told me (with help of one of my Thai traveling partners) about himself. How his Thai-Japanese parents lived in Chiang Mai, and he wanted to raise enough money to start his own Japanese restaurant there eventually. How he made a lot of money 'having girlfriends', but didn't have any friends in Bangkok, and was honestly, speechlessly confused when I asked him what he did for fun. So, that evening was a first for him, and he said that he really did enjoy dancing with me, and the entire evening in general. (yay!) And other Thais (who were hired out) said that we looked cute together, thinking that we were a real couple(!)

Anyway... just wanted to throw in a semi-optimistic story about Thailand's 'escort service'. :)

[Diane]

I cannot believe you were driven from the Hyatt to Gaysorn. That is utterly ridiculous. Hi-so Thais really need to realise that cars are not the be-all and end-all - a little bit of walking won't kill you. No wonder Bangkok traffic is so bad if people are unwilling to walk 200 metres. Please think of the environmental cost.

I'm a farang girl who was born and brought up in Thailand and I feel so much more Thai than many of my rich Thai friends, who would never be caught dead hanging off the back of a songthaew or riding in a tuktuk. You don't know what you're missing out on when you're in your airconditioned Mercedes with tinted windows.