A year to follow my heart

Sorry I've been quite tardy with the blog lately. I've been really busy with lots of things. There are huge, enormous changes brewing in my life. The biggest one, which precipitates all the others, is this: I am taking a year off from work, an entire year. I am giving me this time to find myself.

I have been wondering what I wanted to do with my life when I grew up, when my real life actually began. I knew that I enjoyed my job, but I did not love working for a huge corporation, with all the politiking and power play it entailed. And with the latest organizational changes that took place a couple of weeks ago, I finally had enough. I decided that this was it, and I was off. Luckily, having slaved for years in Silicon Valley affords me the luxury of not having to earn a proper living, at least not for another year or two.

I am giddy with excitement, a prospect of a new life. There are lots of changes at hand. I am very busy with work, transitioning my responsibilities -just because I quit didn't mean I could simply walk away. I am moving to a new place with a cool new kitchen, Viking range, Subzero fridge, the whole nine -no, ten- yards. If I am to make food -or food writing- my profession I need a better space to work. I am also taking off for a bit, spending a month and a half in Europe: London, Brittany, Barcelona, and Paris, of course. I will be spending all of May in Paris, in fact. There are some interesting things I want to do there for the blog, and I will also be taking some classes -this is certainly a good time to rescue my French from mediocrity. I have a few ideas for a book or two that I want to develop. I want to see if my writing is good enough to get into a paper or magazine. My head is spinning, trying to keep up with all the things I have to do, closing off my old life, starting anew.

But I am also petrified. I've always been the smart one, the cautious one. Too cautious to do anything rash, too smart to make a stupid decision, too in control to ever lose myself. Taking this kind of chance is just not me, or is it? I am not entirely sure.

All my life I've been blessed with resources I've done little to deserve. I was born with a good brain, given a gift of a fancy education, and been exposed to more fine things than one should aspire to, yet all I am is but a dilettante. I allow myself to become good enough, but never more, as though I am too afraid of what disappointment awaits if I really let myself try.

But now, now I am finally doing this. I am throwing myself into an enterprise about which I have but a scant idea, and at which I could end up a spectacular failure. Unless I go looking for my heart, I may never find it, this much I know. Sitting on a patch of grass, leaning on the guard rail, the vast, glimmering ocean in front of me, blissfully ignorant of the bustling world just behind, and this time I am really leaving it behind. I am letting myself fall, in love with the soft grass, the clear sky, the wind caressing my face, the pen in my hand. This is the year to follow my heart.

Comments

[Michelle]

Hi Pim, I don't know you very well but I've followed your journal, envied your lifestyle and culinary adventures from afar, and now I just thought I'd pipe up to wish you all the best! It's a brave thing you're doing, but sure to be a rewarding adventure. Good luck, and may the self that you end up finding be even better than you ever hoped it could be. =)

[Jean-Louis]

Yours is a fine blog and you have a definite talent for fine luscious prose. I hope you will continue to write here some of the time and may you enjoy Paris. And Brittany, an underrated part of the French countryside.

BTW, your French was better than very good in the piece you wrote lately.

Jean-Louis

[Mika]

good luck Pim.

[cedichou]

Pim,

good luck in your new efforts. You did pretty amazing thing with a non-pro kitchen already. Can't wait to read about Paris.

[MrsT]

Good luck .. Pim on your new adventures..!

[Melissa Schneider]

Hi Pim,

This is my favorite post you've ever written. Though I don't know you well, I'm so excited for you and in awe of your bravery of taking this big step. I can't help but think that whatever you put your mind to will turn out spectacularly. I'm sure I'm not the only fan of your blog who has wondered when, not if, you might pursue a new food-related career. :-)

Best of luck!

[Ellen]

I wish you the best in your new exploratory mode! How fun! I'm trying to see if I can manage the summer off to explore a few avenues as well.

[daniel]

bonne chance in all your endeavours, lookin forward to reading more of your aventures :-)

[shuna]

Pim,

I am so extraordinarily happy to have you in my life, no matter where you're life is. I look forward to delicious words, a French jam exchange, mesmerizing ideas, postcards and inspiration beyond our wildest imaginings.

Our life is as full as we make it!

Shuna

[Kate]

heya Pim... Good Luck on this endeavor. I'll toast to your success this evening.

-Kate

[Alaina]

Congratulations on taking the leap! No doubt, a a great adventure lies ahead.

[Candy]

Hi, Pim! I just wanted to wish you the best of luck. There are so many food blogs around these days, but yours is undoubtedly one of the best, and I know you'll continue to excel in this and beyond.

[foodmuse]

oh pim, i'm so excited for you. and i'm excited for me too because we get to go on this great new adventure with you through your wonderful blog. best of luck. we'll be the rambunctious gang in the backseat reading voraciously while you drive this thing toward the future.

[Alberto]

Pim, good luck with this new beginning in your life. You're certainly braver than me, I've been considering a somewhat similar move, in a slightly different direction though, for the last year and a half. Maybe the best words I can muster for this occasion are the ones a good friend, who a few years ago left her highly paid PR job to marry a chef and open a restaurant with him, told me just two weeks ago while discussing my own doubts: "if you follow your heart success might come or not, but that's not necessairly the point. You will de doing something that makes you feel good, which excites and stimulates you. Rewards will come, even if they're only those you alone will be able to see."

[thalia]

Pim,

What an amazingly brave thing to do. I'm very envious as I constantly challenge myself about whether I'm really doing what I want to do when I grow up. Good for you for having saved enough to live off for a year or so.

I know you know a lot of people in London, but let me know if you want to discuss new restaurants etc that you might want to visit while you're here. I need to pay you back for the Manresa recommendation!

[charlene]

Pim, this is really big news. It sounds a wonderful, exciting and liberating thing to do. I will continue to read your blog with keen anticipation as we follow you on the next journey in your life.
Really look forward to seeing you in London in April!

[Barbara]

Good luck Pim and I look forward to following your travels and reading your impressions.

[Nicky]

That is so cool! Sadly there are only few people brave enough to actually quit a well-paid job and seek for major changes in life... I wish you all the best for your time off - hope you still find some time to keep up you great blog whilst travelling. In case you may contemplate with visiting Germany - lovely Munich has some delicate food experiences to offer ;)

[Reid]

Pim,

Good luck to you. Enjoy your travels and enjoy your time away. We look forward to hearing from you again -- new and improved! =)

[gracianne]

Bonne chance Pim, and keep posting please. A wandering Pim is even better. I will be thinking of you when I go to the market on Belle Ile in May, maybe you'll be around buying some fish as well, and breathing the fresh ocean air of Brittany. Je suis sure que ca va marcher, vous ecrivez si bien!

[mademoiselle a.]

Mon dieu, these are incredibly good news - maybe you will come through Heidelberg while you're in Europe?
Enjoy it all and bestest of luck!

[Viv]

Congratulations on this exciting time for you, Pim. A few years back I took a leave of absence from work for self, travel and to meditate on what I wanted to do career wise. Very soon it became quite clear that a change was in order and that freelancing and self-employment were the way to go. I’ve never looked back! I already see you achieving fabulous things! Enjoy your travels and keep us posted as time allows. Bon chance!

[jeanne]

Best of luck in your meanderings and findings. Your heart knows what it wants best and the head will catch up soon enough.

I look forward to hearing of your adventures.

[Hande]

Good luck and the best! I also took off for 1,5 years (2 years ago) and it was definetely the best time in my life. It will turn out great, no matter what happens. I am very happy and excited for you.

[Yish]

Happiness is where your heart leads you. And it'll be great fun getting there! Good going, my dear. See you soon.

- Yishay

[David]

Have a fabulous year and keep us all informed!

[Barbara]

Congratulations, Pim!

Following your heart requires bravery--however, in my life, every time I have followed my heart, I have been led to better places and joy. Of course, there is sorrow, too, but when you and your spirit are engaged fully in life, the sorrow is bearable and the joy is sweeter.

Keep writing, and we will keep reading.

[mindy]

AWESOME!
Congrats and good luck to all you endeavor. and ... if you write it they will read it!!

[Stacey]

Pim - I did the same thing a little differently; quit a nice marketing job last October and moved here to SF to go to culinary school with an eye to food writing and the food industry as my next career. It's a fantastic feeling, to steer in a new direction and have all the hope instead of certainty... I hope that you find this next year of reflection and travel - and food - to be as rewarding as I have found the beginnings of my year here in SF!!
Congratulations and Best of Luck!

[juls]

Good luck Pim - HOW EXCITING! And for heaven's sake, let us know when you're in London! xx

[marchisi]

Pim, I just found my first food blog today and it is yours! As a 42 year old man who still doesn't know what to do with his life and am currently in the corporate world you described, I found your revelations timely and comforting. I still feel like a kid at heart and food and drink excites me more than anything else. I send good vibes for your journey and look forward to reading more. Bon Voyage

[robin]

Pim,
I have read every word of your blog entries and I have no doubt that your future is in food and foodwriting. Good for you! I was particularly moved by your desire not to be a talented dilettante who is good enough but afraid to find out what you could really be.

Robin

[Carlosuave]

Pim,

Are you nuts? Just kidding. Given how your blog has moved me this past year, I'm sure your future is secure.

You can only experience true fulfillment by letting go of your fears.

[simona]

Hello Pim, I am new to these forums, and I had few occasions to read your blog. But I am old enough ( really old, I am a grandma) to appreciate what you're doing and to congratulate you for doing it. I did it too, at an older age - I was 40 then!! and decided to leave a very good job for doing what I really wanted since I was about 5 years old! To cook, professionally. My mother was appaled ( her Sorbonne educated daughter- a cook!!)but I did it. So good look in your search, I'm sure you'll when you'll find the right thing to do. And you writing is really good .

[simona]

Oops!!
Of course mean GOOD LUCK, though I'm sure you're very GOOD LOOK

[Pim]

Thank you so much everyone for such kind words of encouragement. I am truly touched. You're all making me cry actually.

You are far, far too kind to me.

It's so great to hear about the experience of so many people who've done it and been so rewarded. I certainly look forward to it with a wide-eye excitement.

And no worries, I'm definitely not going to abandon the blog. It has been such a source of joy to me, and more than instrumental in helping me on this path. I am ever curious to see where it leads me, and you are all definitely coming along, if you want to, of course. :)

bisous,
Pim

[Kerry]

Pim
I just learned of your blog, and food blogs in general, in the last couple of months and have been enjoying following along. Your most recent posting is an inspiration to me. I am in a similar situation, although I haven't been brave enough to quit my current work situation to follow what my heart has been telling me for the last couple of years. I am now longer going to toy with the idea of going to culinary school. U just going to do it. I look forward to reading about/tasting/experiencing where the next year takes you and beyond.

[debbie]

Go, Pim! I left my cushy corporate job three years ago, planning to take a year off to figure things out, and it was the best move I ever made. Mazel tov to you--you have so many exciting developments ahead. There's nothing as wonderful as waking up in the morning without knowing exactly what the day will bring. Best of luck!

[Mariko]

You are so fortunate to have the resources to take a year off! You are also ridiculously talented, and I know we can expect great things from you. Good luck, and ROCK ON.

[Jon]

Hi Pim,

All the best with your new adventure. I look forward to hearing about all the world has waiting for you to discover. Keep us posted.

Jon

[Ore]

Ciao,

On your journey don't forget Israel and Italy...IMO...two of the most beautiful places in the world, and a psy-trance party in the desert can really clear some things up!! As for Italy, they live so freely here, from what I've seen in the past year, and you can pick up great tips on a better lifestyle here...most important of all...HAVE FUN WHEREVER YOU ARE

Ore

[matthew]

Pim,

All the best. I am sure that it will be a fantastic year. So impressed that you can bring yourself to make the leap. I have never quite done it ... but who knows.

Good Luck and I will look out for the books.

[adrian]

So where are you? Colin's got the cocktails ready!

[archana suri]

"Best of Luck" Ms. Pim. It has been such a pleasure to read your posts- I eagerly anticipate everything to come!

[matika]

Sawasdee Ka Khun Pim,

I have been following your blog since the article in the Chronicle. Not very often I get to hear/read about a blog of someone echoing my up-bringing (raised in privilege society of BKK) and aspiration for the opportunities beyond corporate walls.

Congrats and best of luck on embarking on a new journey.
Matika

[McAuliflower]

Goodness Pim, what a great call to make for yourself! We look forward to your adventures.

[Kate]

Pim,

I've read your blog on and off for a while now and can't wait to hear what this year will bring.

Oddly enough, I was just saying today that I've never taken significant time off from anything school/work/etc. and that the concept is so foreign to me that I wouldn't even know how to do that.

I'm impressed. Very impressed. And a bit jealous too! Good luck!

[kathleen]

hello pim,
the world is so much larger than we think. i moved to the bay area last fall to start a program that involves lots of community work. like you i am well educated and am used to certain luxuries. i have no car now and am living on loans. i also like control, so this has turned me into an awful bean counter. yet - each encounter with nature or another person delights or haunts me, and life is infused with more color than before. this city alone holds millions of spirits - each with passions, traumas and untold dreams. i hope that your adventure unfolds not only word-joys and food-joys, but also the joys of living and breathing and feeling everything fully, even that which is painful, fevered, or ticklish.
love your writing,
kathleen

[anthony]

Ah free from wage slavery, good for you.

Bests.

[Elaine]

It was Goethe who said that when you make a big decision, everything else falls in place to make it possible. (Wish I could remember the real wording.) I'm admiring and a little jealous -- have been balancing a career as a journalist in Tokyo with writing a novel on the side. Still like the day job so don't really feel like quitting yet, but the scales are tipping. Anyway, best of luck and keep on blogging -- I've really been enjoying your stuff!

[sam]

Not sure if it was goethe, h.w. murray or david brower (or each probably adding their own little piece) that said:

"Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it...There's magic in you. Let it out."

Best of luck on your journey...Look forward to reading how is all unfolds.

[baklavaqueen]

"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are." --e. e. cummings

I found this quote again recently and really liked what it was saying to me for my own life... but I think it is also appropriate for you. Best wishes for your journey, Pim... you have the courage and the grace to make it a worthwhile one.

[Adam]

Pim, I did a very similar thing last year and it's been the most rewarding thing I've ever done. I have no doubt you're making a great choice---nothing but the best to you!
Adam

[Clement]

Hi Pim, best wishes in all your future travels and adventures!

[stef]

Your heart will thank you for this. Good luck, we all look forward to the wonderful things you will be sharing with us on your journey :)

[pieman]

Rock 'n' roll.

[Deb]

Way to go Pim!! I wish you the best of luck and hope that you keep up with your blog while you are finding yourself and adventuring, I would miss you too much if you didn't.

[Cathy]

How exciting! Good luck to you!

[derek]

:)

[Louisa]

Pim - congratulations - and it's about time! I promise you - there is light at the end of the tunnel. I left Beverly Hills to go to Cordon Bleu for a year - and that was 3 years ago. It was just to be a better food journalist - but I discovered that somehow I had the cojones to work at elBulli and Ducasse - and now the Crillon. See you in Paris in May - now we can finally catch up on all that gossip!

[matt]

It's The Summer of George!

[matt]

It's The Summer of George .... but i never come here....

[Tran]

Hi Pim,

First time I'm posting here, but just wanted to say that your last few lines gave me chills. I'm excited for you and wish you well on your journey to follow your heart. Hope this next year feeds your soul well...

[Suebob]

Wonderful, Pim. I wish you all the best. You certainly deserve a year to call your own.

I know what you are talking about. I am the cautious one, too. It is so hard to break free of, but when you do, it will bring new life and new energy that will carry you forward.

Allons!
Suebob

[Lisa]

Pim,
I made the same move almost eight years ago - when I turned 30 and I haven't regretted anything since. Follow your heart - as Pessoa said in the Book of Disquiet *to think with your heart* and *to feel with your mind*. Grab yourself and savour it!
YOU GO GURL!!!

[savina]

Yes yes, you will be so glad of this choice you made as the year will unfold and in time to come. And I totally agree with Ore, include Italy in your trip, you won't regret it! You deserve all the good luck and good feelings you are receiving for the courage of taking your life in your hands and trying to go a bit further (even though you are clearly way ahead of most people already). Pim, this is going to be such fun!
bon voyage
Savina

[Yoshio]

I have to say this is the first time I've detected any humility in you since starting to read your blog - which is excellent as you well know - and that is a good thing. Your background, work and affluent lifestyle created an aura of self-importance that was virtually unavoidable. It's hard for me to fathom how taking a year off with a hefty bank account, new luxe digs and an enviable travel schedule can be risky. Maybe you should try something really radical like retreating to a Buddhist monastery for a time to meditate on what life truly means to you. Does love have a role, are there meaningful contributions which can be made that actually require self-sacrifice and what is your purpose in life this go-around? Take some time on your spiritual self and see who you truly are. I wish you peace, love and deeper understanding.

[adrian]

Take a chill pill, Yoshio

[pam]

Pim,

Congratulations! You will be so happy that you've done this. I did the same thing about six months ago, and only wish I'd had the courage to do it sooner. Though I'm not working full time as a food writer, I am working for myself, and dipping my toes into the food writing waters. With the internet, you can do this anywhere too. If you haven't already read it, I'd suggest hopping over to egullet and reading David Leite's lecture on foodwriting. That is what inspired me to take the plunge, and send out my first e-query to a local paper, and now I'm a regular contributor.

I know you'll do well, and I'm looking forward to reading about your adventures.

[Josh]

Good luck to you Pim in these exciting new endeavors. Keep us posted on what happens next!

[Fred]

Pim,
We don't know each other but it feels so familiar to read your post.
I'm in my thirties and i'm currently working for a large american company in Paris. I've decided also to resign and to embrace MY way for a change. I fully understand your point of view (even about dilettante and the rest ;-) ) and I wish you good luck for your next adventures.
I don't know if our roads will cross each other more than once, but who knows ? We might end-up sharing some Paris addresses ?
Please don't hesitate to e-mail for help, I believe the "net" to be a very powerful way to let people meet and get along very well ! Let's share our passions !
Désolée pour l'anglais approximatif, mon français est bien meilleur je te rassure !!
Fred

[foodnerd]

Congratulations, Pim! Good on you for not letting fear and risk stop you -- I have always said that if something isn't scary, it's probably not worth doing. The fear is real, never deny it, but doing what you want to do ANYWAY is truly powerful. I cannot wait to buy your books and magazine articles, even though I can read your wonderful writing and recipes for free on this blog. And for whatever it's worth, I just quit my job of 10 years (5 good, 5 bad) and am leaving my sweetie-pie behind in Boston to live in Chicago for a while, because I've always wanted to. Good luck, and have fun!

[sizzleteeth]

Congratulations PIM,

All our lives we are taught to seek out, join and rely upon situations that have already been structured – as it is much less terrifying to move onto a stable platform that has been built for us than to face moving into an environment that is undefined – in which we must build a platform of our own – else face drowning.

What you are doing is one of the bravest things any person can do, leaving behind your comfortable shell of protection and attachment and stepping into the undefined… please remember that fear is only what you learn.

A couple of quotes for your journey:

“The human mind is so constructed as to deal most easily with the constant, the fixed, the definite; it does its best to avoid the fluid, the unstable, and the changeable.” - Charles de Gaulle

“True observation begins when one sheds set patterns and true freedom of expression occurs when one is beyond systems.”- Bruce Lee

[Miss Georgia]

I've been reading your blog for a little while now, especially the Paris restaurant reviews as my boyfriend and I are visiting for the first time in May. I'm guessing that since you're going to Paris in May that it's beautiful then...I hope, I hope, I hope.
Anyways, I hope your work sabbatical doesn't mean we won't be getting regular posts from you. Good luck and congratulations! We'll be in Paris (staying in the 11th) from May 18th - 25th if you get lonely and wanna grab a drink with two young Americans.

[In Training]

What we are, we are but if we are ever going to be any better today is the day to begin.

Good Luck on Your New Adventure

Julie Paris

[Rachael]

Pim-
What a wonderful thing you are doing for yourself. Two years ago I did the same thing (though not to write about cooking, to teach) and it turned out to be the greatest decision of my life. The whole world is out there, and now you will have the time to truly savor it. Good luck to you,what fun you are going to have! - Rachael

[sally applin]

hey pim,

we made it okay from our big world adventure.
you're going to be fine!
good luck and have fun with it--sounds like you'll have a good time.

xo

sal

[rj]

best of luck with your new adventure. May I ask what your occupation has been all this time?

[Shelli]

Pim, what an exciting, terrifying move. Good for you! Many of us can see ourselves in your evaluation of self and it takes more courage to try to be all that you can be than the Army knows. I've changed careers entirely three times so far and it's been a good thing each time. Talent and a financial safety net will certainly help, but the emotional commitment is most important.

I too will be in Paris in May and was thinking of language classes. Would you share the names of the ones you're considering? By the way, I just missed you last fall, having had lunch with Maurice just after you left Paris.

[Pom+]

Congratulations ja, Plub! I'm so excited for you. Drop us a postcard from France!

Pom+ & Colin

[mimi]

Good Luck but I know you will be a huge success on whatever road you take and all of your fans stand beside you.

[Aimee Cardwell]

I'm an American foodie in Paris, not as accomplished as you with either blogging or eating, but I do ok. I live here now with my husband (we are also former SF/high tech) while doing some software work for a French company. I thought I would offer you these few suggestions for your files, since I'm gratefully taking your advice with restaurants I visit both here and in London.

We attend french lessons twice a week at a school we rather like, in the first: http://www.lutece-langue.com/

If you haven't already chosen your school, you might give them a shot. One of our fellow students is taking a 10 week patisserie course at The Cordon Bleu.

I'd also like to recommend the following restaurant which I have not seen mentioned very often (please excuse the blog excerpt):

"Wednesday we went a restaurant recommended by our French friend Graham -- Le Bistral, 80 rue Lemercier, in the 17th. It was an excellent French bistro, the best affordable dining experience I've had in Paris. It was only 24 euros for an appetizer, main course, and dessert, all of which were outstanding. I had beef and foie gras terrine to start, a lamb joint with cheesy risotto, and an outstanding plum crumble (think sweet-tart soft nectarines with sugary wafers) that was almost indescribably good. I can't wait to go back there. There were only three choices for each course, so between the four of us we had everything they were offering that night, and it was all fantastic. The bill came to 109 euros for four."

Lastly, if you find yourself in need of anything while you are here: emergency lodging, internet connection, dinner partners :-)... Drop me a mail for contact info if you like.

Bonne chance, and have a great time.
A.

[Constance]

This is so exciting! I hope to follow your blog this year as I also take a year off. I resigned Tuesday but have to fulfill a contract until June 1st. I'm looking so forward to a year off. Everyone at work tell me how brave I am and they wish they could do this also. But I'm not brave. You are the brave one. I'm 50 and have health problems. Wish I HAD been brave and done this much earlier. Best of Luck!
Lottie