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Monday, August 22, 2005

A hick in critic's clothing

People in the city complain about their Bruni, while we in the other city moan about our Bauer. And Ced, dear Ced just goes on sans cesse about his darling Meredith.

But you know what? It's the Londoners who one up us all.

They are trumping us with this bloke Gareth McLean, the latest in the parade of oddly amateurish restaurant critics in the UK Guardian -some of whom have questionable knowledge of food and even less so of dining in general. In his current review in said paper, Mr.McLean had this to say:

Since I don't believe in foie gras, the ham hock and foie gras terrine was out of bounds. And since it's way too old lady to order soup in a restaurant, the leek and potato soup was also a no-no. That left crab ravioli and red mullet or honey-roasted duck confit salad. Here, my unshakeable belief that crabs are reinforced swimming spiders and so shouldn't be put near one's mouth was, well, shaken. Mainly because it's wrong to eat ducks. Not for the same reason it's wrong to eat pigeons (they're dirty birdies, even if the ones you get in restaurants are not plucked off grimy streets), but because ducks seem like nice birds and, despite often living in stagnant water, mostly look clean. So the ravioli it had to be, and it was very tasty.

With his peculiar -if not downright insane- sensitivities, one wonders what he was doing play-acting a reviewer in the first place. And I'm not even mentioning the part about picking bacon bits out of his teeth and contemplating mending the fly on his PJ. I Kid You Not.

We should all count our blessings, starting right about now.


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