25 random things about me

So there's this thing called Facebook, where you join and then make friends, and do all the things your friends are doing like good little lemmings that we are.  Lately there's this 25 Things meme going around.  You write 25 things - be they interesting or mundane, obvious facts or little-known secrets - about yourself, and then you tag 25 of your friends (that is if you're cool enough, or Facebook-cool enough rather, to have more than 25 friends) and make them do the same thing.  But before that you must wait until you are tagged.  Because doing it before somebody asked you to would be totally over-sharing, and, like, totally uncool.

And so I was tagged, and I wrote this list of twenty five things.  And I was doing it totally because all the other cool kids were doing it too.  And on Facebook you don't want to be left out.  Not that you'd want to be left out in real life, but on Facebook you *really* don't want to be left out, because then it'd be like that time when Stefan was picked last to the team on Top Chef - that is to say, like, totally uncool.  And then I thought hey why not put it here too, and it totally save me writing a-whole-nother post for Monday.  And so here they are, 25 things about me you may or may not want to know.  But here they are just the same.

1. I've been dreading this, just a little.

2. It's been twenty years and I still miss my grandfather almost every day.

3. I believe beetroot-haters have the most discriminating of palates.

4. The most Tivo-ed channel on my TV is the Sci-Fi channel.

5. I fall asleep most nights between two things I love most in the world.

6. You will have to pry the tube of Kewpie mayonnaise from my cold dead hands. It is, however, not one of the two things I take to bed each night.

7. I believe a sin worse than arrogance is false humility.

8. I am arrogant.

9. I know my cat Ella understands everything I say to her.

10. I make butter for a Michelin-two-star restaurant, and it's the best damned butter in this country. And no, you can't buy it.

11. See #8 above. Also see #7.

12. I think the world will be a much better place if people listen to themselves as they speak and taste their own food as they cook. I also think the key to world peace might just be pork.

13. The best purchase I made in the last three months was the giant Bassine à Confiture made of copper I bought off eBay. As soon as my new iMac arrives this may change.

14. The worst purchase I made in the same period was a peeler from Williams-Sonoma. Touted as "the last peeler you'll ever buy", it will in fact be the first peeler I've ever returned.

15. I don't know what half the knobs and buttons on my camera do exactly. I'm not kidding, see #7.

16. I look forward to selling out one day. Really. Make me an offer.

17. I'm stoked that Daniel and Alexandra took the Sanskrit name I gave their son Julian as his spiritual name.

18. I believe George Carlin's "average guy" joke maybe the funniest - and most omniscient – joke ever.

19. I once went to a barn dance, in a real working barn, where people actually danced – square and otherwise - and altogether enjoyed themselves without a trace of irony. So did I. Or so I was told.

20. I want to be a curmudgeon when I grow up.

21. I think Toby Young couldn't decide if he wanted to be Simon Cowell or Jeffrey Steingarten. News to him: he's no match for either.

22. I'm too eastern for the West, and too western for the East. So, temperamentally, I am in the middle of the Pacific somewhere. Good thing I'm a strong swimmer, though one day I may still drown.

23. I am running out of things to say.

24. I rarely run out of things to say.

25. I am now not done.